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July 1, 2012
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New Journal Skin and Cosplay Confessions

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 1, 2012, 8:46 PM



WOW!! I got 79 votes on the Cosplay Confession thing so I'm going to have to come up with 79! Wow! <3

Do you like my new Journal Skin? I spent HOURS trying to figure out CSS. I'm a bit technology dimwitted. I have never done anything like that before in my life and figuring out all the codes almost drove me to murder. I asked my sister who is very talented in such things to help but she was unable to do anything unless she was in front of my laptop. LOL Talk about dead out of water.

Any-who I'm going to do cosplay confessions in no particular order. ALONS-Y!!!
1. I genuinely like seeing other people cosplaying the same character as me. I like seeing what other people can bring to the table, and I love cosplaying with people who equally love the character as I do.

2. Ever since a friend became extremely upset over me cosplaying the same character as her, I have felt like I am not allowed to cosplay who I want, despite the fact that I am comfortable seeing people in the same thing as I am in. But when it comes to friends I get scared that the same situation will happen and I will hurt someone.

3. I honestly don't keep track of cosplay idols or celebrities. I follow a few people that have been given those titles, but I honestly disagree with placing people on pedestals. When we take off the costumes we are all just regular joe fans. I admire every cosplayer I come across, and I consider everyone to be my idols when I see how much they shine in their costumes.

4. I don't think race/ethnicity, size, weight, gender or physique should determine who ANYONE cosplays. If you have the confidence to put yourself out there, all the power to you. Everyone's body is beautiful, but some people will make comments, so be prepared for it.

5. I get increasingly annoyed when I meet cosplayers who expect to be treated with a super star status at conventions. I don't think it's right. Yes if you have a fabulous costume I will admire you for it. But if you wear a nasty personality with your cosplay, that just takes away entirely from the costume.

6. I have a peeve when it comes to wigs. I understand that not many people can afford them, but if you at least put forth the effort to buy a wig of similar color I give you all my kudos. Wigs are becoming increasingly easier to get ahold of, so try to make it happen if you can. A wig can make all the difference with a costume.

7. I get slightly annoyed with the skimpy outfit cosplay issue. I get annoyed by both categories, the first being the girls complaining that people are noticing them for their bodies. And the second being that people will only pay attention to you if your not wearing anything.

8. I think it's unfair to assume a cosplayer is a slut because she is dressed revealing. Perhaps you should consider that the love for this character exceeds the need for modesty. I have been compromised for my love of a character and they're little tight outfits before. Not to mention that I full heartedly disagree with the term "slut". Being promiscuous is not a negative thing. It's a life choice and if people choose to be that way that's their business, not yours.

9. I get extremely defensive and upset when I see people troll other cosplayers over their looks, weight, etc. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Let's put that out on the table. However I continuously wonder what makes people believe it is their solemn duty to tell others how ugly, horrible, untalented, fat, skinny, gross, and a loser other people are. We are all dealing with our own problems. You never know what kind of internal battle another person is facing. So before you comment, rudely, mean spiritedly or put forth a criticism, why not find something that you like about that person or imagine the effort it took to put together, or even imagine the courage a person must summon in order to put themselves out on the internet in the first place. Have a little compassion for your fellow human being. Because we all are just people, with feelings and problems of our own. ♥

10. I don't always get a lot of pictures of my cosplays at cons. To be honest a lot of people there have much better costumes and deserve a lot more attention then I do. But when I get paid a compliment I'm flattered and overjoyed. I work just as hard on my cosplays and it feels good to get recognition.

11. I am ALWAYS surprised when a photographer asks me for a photo shoot.

12. I am much too shy to ask a photographer friend to take pictures of me, so I always ask my sister's to help me. It's selfish, but I think the sting of rejection from a photographer friend would devastate me.

13. I love it when a photographer tells me "you're making a weird face", "Stop that with your teeth", "don't pout", "suck in", "move your arm", "That makes you look weird", etc. I would rather be told to change how I look, then to see the photos online and feel ashamed and embarrassed that I made a freaky face.

14. I am proud of my costumes and will brag on very rare occasions, but if one person says something negative I feel like throwing the costume away.

15. I feel bad not having a cosplay partner anymore, because before we broke up I could enact all my otp feels with them. Now I'm too shy to tell anyone in public that I'd like to get an intimate photoshoot with them.

16. I met a Gambit at a con in Sacramento and I felt bad that I was the only Rogue cosplayer there. He was stuck with me, and everyone wanted photos of us together.

17. I like the idea of cosplay partners (aka two people who are dating) but I also feel in the cosplay world that can lead up to a lot more trouble and drama then if you were just friends. When romantic feelings are involved both people get hurt, no matter what.

18. Sometimes I honestly wonder where all the drama is coming from. I have a lot of respect for teenagers, but when I go to a con where the attendees are blatantly acting irresponsible and uncontrollable, I begin to think really unnecessary thoughts about the people in the anime/fandom community. I love everyone, but sometimes people at cons give me a panic attack!!

19. I often times feel excited when I get asked for a solo picture. But I feel even worse when I hear from a friend how much it hurt their feelings.

20. I hate being dragged into a photo with a friend when the photographer obviously did not want me in the picture. It makes me feel bad, and I'm sure it makes the photographer frustrated to have someone crammed into a picture they didn't originally want in it.

21. Cosplay has changed my life!!

22. When I finish a tough part of a costume I often run around to every room in my house to show it off. "Look at what I did!"

23. When I get frustrated with sewing and things aren't turning out right I get extremely hostile and will curse SEVERAL times. It's embarrassing, but when I'm in the zone I don't even realize what I'm doing.

24. I often times don't tell people when they have said or done something to hurt me in the cosplay community. I've found it's creates too many ripples, and drama. If Someone does something to me now, I avoid working with that person.

25. I can occasionally be really easy for me to make friends at cons. However when the con is over I don't tend to keep in contact due to social anxieties and fear of the unknown.

26. If I don't go to a con with a friend or relative I'm usually sitting in the corner quietly or walking around aimlessly. I'm super awkward and feel bad imposing on other people.

27. My first kiss was at Anime Expo!

28. I don't like being disappointed when I plan a group cosplay, so I usually make my own costumes and if people want to join in with me I encourage them to join me. But I will rarely put together a group anymore because people have their own agendas that I need to respect as well.

29. I have stopped lending cosplay items to friends. I have leant wigs out before and they have come back damaged, smelly, and messy. I've leant out other items to friends and they come back broken or ruined. I just don't take my chances anymore.

30. I've often times paid for other people's stay in my hotel room which has put me into negative debt. I just don't know how to put my foot down yet.

31. I love staying in a hotel room at a con. It feels like a mini vacation!

32. I try my best not to buy food at conventions. I bring food and have an electric pot I heat up soups in. :3

33. My first Yaoicon Experience was with my mom! The staff LOVED her and it turned out my mom LOVED yaoi.

34. I got into cosplay and conventions through my sister in my freshman year of high school.

35. My first cosplay was bought for me by my parents as a birthday gift!

36. In my youth I used to be a serial kisser at cons. Anyone who would do fan service with me I'd jump right into a kiss or compromising pose. Nowadays I'm a bit more reserved and I don't kiss everyone in sight. >//w//< (Tuna you naughty girl) That used to piss of my boyfriend.

37. When I first got into cosplay I didn't realize that you could cosplay from ANYTHING. I was extremely surprised to see Ghostbuster cosplayers at Fanime and kept asking "But this is an anime con, right?" I have since broadened my horizons obviously. XD

38. I feel much more comfortable in non-anime cosplays. I have more fun and feel so much more connected with the characters then when I cosplayed from an anime series.

39. I am always paranoig that I will end up on 4chan for a negative reason.

40. I've actually cried at past photos of myself. I was so discontent with who I was and how I looked that I still feel that pressure and distaste for myself to this day. One day I will look at my pictures and think "Wow, I like how I look."

42. This is more of a personal confession, but due to my obsession with weight loss; cosplay spiraled me into an eating disorder. The drive to be perfect and to have an ideal body for my photos was one of the main drives for cosplay and weight loss for a long time.

43. I always compare myself to other cosplayers when it comes to weight. I know I'm not the biggest person in the room but my distorted body image tells me I am. And then I sit and slap myself silly for thinking that even matters. Since I am a big believer in size doesn't matter when it comes to cosplay it hurts me to think I hold this rule for myself and not for everyone else.

44. My parents don't even react to me in a crazy colored wig or costume anymore.

45. I am constantly afraid of being a "bad" person or disliked. My impossible goal is for everyone to like me. Even though I know it's impossible, it still keeps me up at night sometimes.

46. If I didn't have cosplay I would probably have been depressed and suicidal for a lot longer period. I am still battling depression but every new cosplay somehow feels like something I heal within myself.

47. I have always had grandeur ideas of making eloborate photo shoots or cosplay music videos, but I'm always disappointed when I never get them into action. Mostly because I am terrified to make people commit to me.

48. I have had both good and bad times in costume. But as long as the good feelings outweigh the bad, I will keep cosplaying.

49. No one could make me stop cosplaying entirely. Perhaps severely paranoid and terrified of negative comments, but I don't think I'd be able to stop entirely because one person didn't approve of me.

50. I hate competition between cosplayers. It NEEDS to stop.

51. I wish to go to an overseas convention someday. Hopefully MCM Expo, or Paris Comic Con.

52. I have been to only one out of state con but I would love to go to more!

53. I often wonder how I could make cosplay into a career. And then I wonder why I think I'm worthy of such ambitions since I don not consider my cosplays to be anything special.

54. Cosplay has often had me considering modeling as a career path, then just like confession #53 I wonder why I think that.

55. People often tell me to get into modelling but the harsh reality that I am too short at 5 foot 2 inches. My career would be a flatline.

56. I have always liked how I looked in a wig and cosplay then in my normal wardrobe.

57. I am slowly trying to become more comfortable with the person outside of cosplay, then the person inside it.

58. I have been slowly shifting my confidence from my in-cosplay persona into my day to day life. I feel like Clark Kent. FFFF.

59. I can't walk around a con in normal attire. It makes me feel naked.

60. I never take off my wig in front of people I don't know. I am extremely embarrassed by how my wig hair looks.

61. I have often wanted to cosplay tan characters, but I feel like I'd be criticized for it because of the whole race issue in the cosplay community.

62. I hate it when I go up to a cosplayer to be nice and compliment them on their craftsmanship and then I get dismissed because I am not well known.

63.I don't take compliments very well but I'm learning to be more accepting to praise.

64. I often get mistaken for a snob, but in reality I am shy and introverted unless I know you fairly well.

65. When a child looks at me in cosplay with a twinkle in their eye I get gushy and excited. Especially when they think I'm the real character, it makes me super happy!

66. Sometimes I get cranky at cons. If that happens I just try my best to distance myself with friends before I say something that would hurt someone's feelings.

67. I get frustrated when friends nitpick at another person's costume. Maybe they don't know how to sew, maybe they don't want to ruin the wig or are afraid of cutting it wrong. Once upon a time you were them too. So give them some slack. As long as someone has tried their hardest how can you criticize what they have to offer?

68. When someone criticizes my costumes, I don't get defensive. I get depressed and assume that despite the positive comments, this person is the one person who is being honest with me.

69. I feel a lot of times friends won't tell me that I honestly have made something weird looking or that the character really looks bad on me.

70. I love my followers on deviantart, but often times I feel pressured and stressed out to reply to their comments. But when I don't see very many comments I freak out and think I'm horrible for only getting 2 comments on something.

71. I appreciate every single photographer and I am extremely flattered when anyone asks for a picture at a con, wether it's with a camera phone, video camera, or heavy machinery!

72. I often feel cosplay photographers get the short end of the stick too often and don't get nearly enough recognition and praise as they should.

73. I don't see anything wrong with people photoshopping their images. If you are truly uncomfortable with your appearance and want to fix up your photos then do it, and don't ever feel guilty for doing so. There's nothing shameful in wanting to look your best and there is nothing wrong with feeling comfortable with your photos. We look up to celebrities and models, and in reality most pictures of them is photoshopped. No one can look perfect without a little bit of help here and there.

74. I am not a big fan of genderbending cosplays. I do sympathize however since I can rarely make myself look manly enough to cosplay some of the characters I idolize. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as it isn't taken too far.

75. I'm not a fan of homestuck, but I get upset with friends when they rag on the homestuck cosplayers. They are entitled to cosplay what they like just as much as you are.

76. I get annoyed by immaturity in cosplay. I feel like people already look down on this hobby and people just add to the stereotype a lot more than they do help discredit it.

77. Don't use fandom for an excuse to who you are. If you are not a good person, cosplay and the fanbase did not make you that way. You genuinely need to reassess your life if you want to blame your actions on a cartoon or comic.

78. I have no idea what to post for my last confession!! XD I CONFESS.






My beautifully talented sisters:
:iconmonmonmouse: :iconeve-neko: :iconladydragonqueen:

AMAZING PEOPLE I KNOW
:iconcatladycosplay: :iconmisuzu-chi: :iconravingpanties: :iconprincessmarlycosplay: :iconrose-curel: :iconframedbones: :iconsaria89: :iconhavocluver: :iconcauseallidoisdance: :iconaisu-isme: :iconjojopandaface::iconanachronisticsiren: :iconoverthought27: :icondan-sama: :iconglass-rose-prince::iconnovembercosplay:





AVENGERS: United we Stand by ManaFromHeavenThor and Loki Avengers Cosplay by OniakakoUtena 8 by neko-tinKorra Cosplay - Waterbending by AicosuStewardess Sisters - Panty and Stocking by MostfloggedX-Men Assemble by twinfoolsMeow by Alassa:thumb310547689:





Congratulations to Kyle and Jean-Paul by SugarBunnyCosplayWIP: JiM by SugarBunnyCosplayWIP Batgirl by SugarBunnyCosplayWIP Batgirl cowl and Makeup by SugarBunnyCosplayWIP: Magik by SugarBunnyCosplay

  • Watching: Saw
  • Playing: Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2
  • Eating: Terriyaki Bowl
  • Drinking: Tea
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcandy-yuki:
candy-yuki Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Student Artist
I would have most of the same confessions too! :D
Reply
:icondarksamuraix1999:
DarkSamuraiX1999 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012
Wow that's a lot of info and I love the new journal skin
Reply
:iconsara-sekhmet:
sara-sekhmet Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I totally agree with you on so many things! You're definitely an inspiration :)
Reply
:iconkrazorspoon:
krazorspoon Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Just a random comment in regard to your sincerity and honesty in this lengthy list of confessions and your overall creativity:

I'd like to meet you, some day. [:
Reply
:iconannierayyneobscurity:
AnnieRayyneObscurity Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Nice confessions! They really inspired me! I've been thinking of cosplaying too since I might go to my 1st con this year but I think I'll wait a little longer...
Reply
:iconraydere:
raydere Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
I sent you a couple messages on Tumblr in regards to this (since I don't use dA a lot), but I have to say, this is a very insightful post!

Some more thoughts:

13: Not just that, but it also helps to have a photographer who is familiar with the series you're cosplaying from so they can have ideas for poses and help you pose accordingly. Although depending on the series it can be hard to find such a photographer.

75: My thoughts in a nutshell. I don't find the fandom very obnoxious, it's just *everywhere.* But some of my closest friends are Homestuck fans, and it makes me facepalm every time someone says Homestuck cosplay should not be at a convention. Um, hello? What about people who cosplay from Western comics (i.e. you)? They've been cosplaying at cons aimed at Japanese animation for a LONG time.

59: Again, same feeling. I feel like I'm missing out on many social opportunities and fun moments when I'm at a convention in my normal attire; I feel invisible.

66: That's not uncommon amongst congoers. Especially since getting a full eight hours of sleep (and sleep can significantly impact one's overall mood) at a con is practically an achievement rather than the norm.

67: The best way to help someone out (especially someone with low self-esteem) with anything is to be polite about it, really. Only if they're making glaring mistakes and refusing to correct them does getting a bit harsher become necessary.

68: Oh god, AoD 2011 and my Len cosplay...but yeah, I know the feeling. If people are constructive and polite then it's not too bad at least for me, but if they just bust out the laughter it can make me want to throw my cosplay into a fire.

As for CSS: Have you looked at this site? [link] It's pretty much where I picked up the ropes. I've been meaning to look at it again, but laziness is a powerful force :P

Anyways, it was nice reading your post and I feel inspired to do my own list, haha. Take care~
Reply
:iconshellminded:
ShellMinded Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
As a depression survivor myself (and still battling), I want to tell you that you have a beautiful soul, I can tell by just reading this journal. Your words are so honest and sincere, and your thoughts are so pure and loving, especially regarding what cosplay is all about. You are the model cosplayer in my eyes, because attitude is what makes us. All of your friends should be grateful and proud to have you as their friend. :hug:
I found you through a friend through facebook, and I am in the same area as you :XD: (so I hope this all doesn't come off as creepy...)
Reply
:iconharuu-chan:
Haruu-chan Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012
After reading this entire journal, I'm sitting here wondering why I don't talk to you more. You're seriously one of the sweetest and prettiest friends I have, and I find your way of looking at the cosplay community really admirable :3 :heart:
Reply
:iconwindfiresteel:
windfiresteel Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, this was a lot. See? I enjoyed reading this, and I wonder if you've ever thought about acting?

deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Reply
:iconanachronisticsiren:
AnachronisticSiren Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
All of this just reinforces that you are one of the kindest, sweetest people I know :hug:

If you're interested in modeling, I say go for it. You're beautiful, and super-photogenic. Print modeling would be very doable for you, I think, as opposed to runway. A friend of mine is 5'1" and she's done professional modeling shoots for years. Maybe try making a profile on Model Mayhem. Who knows? It's worth a shot, and I think you can do it :meow:
Reply
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